TOP SECRET // PROJECT ALTERA // EYES ONLY // DO NOT DISTRIBUTE

Real headlines. Unreal footage.

A one-eyed anchor reads tonight's real news over tapes from Earth's secret twin planet. He thinks it's all fake. It isn't.

PLAYUNAIRED

●SHERIFF PULLS OVER AMISH BUGGY ON SUSPICION OF HORSEPOWER●PIGS SPOTTED OVER COUNTY FAIR, OFFICIALS "NOT SURPRISED"●ELEPHANT ESCAPES ZOO, LOCATED DIRECTLY BEHIND ANCHOR●PROJECT ALTERA: NO COMMENT●WEATHER: ONE EYE OPEN●SHERIFF PULLS OVER AMISH BUGGY ON SUSPICION OF HORSEPOWER●PIGS SPOTTED OVER COUNTY FAIR, OFFICIALS "NOT SURPRISED"●ELEPHANT ESCAPES ZOO, LOCATED DIRECTLY BEHIND ANCHOR●PROJECT ALTERA: NO COMMENT●WEATHER: ONE EYE OPEN

The Scatter Report station at dusk, news vans parked out front

Ohio. 1979.

01The station

Every town has a news station. This one had a secret.

The Scatter Report comes on at six o'clock and reads real headlines, word for word.

And the only man in the building who doesn't know the secret is the one reading the news.

THE NEWSROOM

Personnel files, recovered from the station. Faces have not been altered. Unfortunately.

The anchor · 6pm

CHET THUNDERMAN

America's One-Eyed Wonder. Powder-blue suit, feathered hair, one eye right in the middle of his forehead. A highball in his hand by ten a.m. and a phone number from every waitress in the county.

EYES: 1
CONFIDENCE: 100%
INFORMED: 0%
HOMETOWN: TOLEDO (HE SAYS)

“I don't take bribes. I accept gratitude.”

Weekends · Live from the fair

BEV KOWALSKI

Her mouth is about a third too big for her face. A footlong. A bratwurst. A bowling pin. On camera, in one take, no hands.

“Ream us?”

Producer · Control room

CURTISS

Wears every stopwatch in the building. Counts Chet down every night. Chet has never once been ready.

“Chet. We're live.”

Management

MANAGEMENT

Tired. Underpaid. Has never been photographed from the front. Sits on a vault of tapes that could end the world as we know it, and uses them for b-roll.

“See me.”

Through a lunar module window: Earth, and a ringed twin planet behind the moon

Same oceans. Same Ohio.

02The discovery

The part they cut from the history books.

The whole world is watching the moon. And the cameras catch something behind it: a planet the same size as ours. Same oceans. Same Ohio. Earth has a twin, and nobody told us.

Its name is Remus. Romulus got Rome. Remus got erased.

Chet“REE-mus. Like the twin. Not like the activity.”

The government stamps it Project Altera and sends a crew. A Scatter Report cameraman bribes his way onto the ship with a carton of cigarettes. He films everything.

A 1969 family gathered around a TV watching the moon landing

Everyone's watching

An astronaut cameraman filming on the surface of Remus

Our man on Remus

A scientist walking down a lab corridor with a ringed planet in the window

Project Altera

03Recovered footage

What he brought back on tape.

On Remus, the animals are put together differently, and everyone treats it as completely ordinary. Swipe through the reel.

A snake that is also a red Pontiac, waiting at a stoplight — **REMUS · ROAD**A snake that's also a Pontiac, waiting at a stoplight.

A pig-alligator wearing a service vest in a grocery store — **REMUS · GROCERY**A Pig-Gator on duty. Calm. Polite. Slightly damp.

A giant green caterpillar pulling into a train station — **REMUS · COMMUTE**The 5:15 is a caterpillar. Nobody looks up.

A man water-skiing behind a shark that is also a speedboat — **REMUS · LAKE**Saturday on the lake. The boat has teeth.

Children feeding a rhino-giraffe-alligator at a petting zoo — **REMUS · PETTING ZOO**Keep your fingers flat.

A bear in a vest tending bar in a wood-paneled tavern — **REMUS · LAST CALL**He pours heavy. Tip the bear.

A spider that is also a helicopter landing in a parking lot — **REMUS · AIR TRAFFIC**Cleared for landing. Check under the cars.

A panda at a zoo exhibit with a misspelled 'PANDUH EXHIBIT' sign — **REMUS · ZOO**The sign is correct. Look closer.

04Restricted

Then he found the labs.

Where Remus's scientists make the animals. A pig and an alligator go down the hall. Into the machine. Nobody has a clue why they did this.

A scientist holding a pig and an alligator

Ingredients

A hand pulling the lever on a glowing machine

The machine

A pig-alligator on a lab table next to its cardboard prototype

Pig-Gator

Employed

CRATE 7 · OHIO · 1969 Baby Chet: one eye, tiny powder-blue suit, holding a microphone

05The crate

One crate came back to Ohio.

When they pried it open, a baby stepped out. One eye. Tiny powder-blue three-piece suit. Feathered hair. Holding a microphone, and asking which camera was his.

The station took him in as a mascot. By 1975 he had a mustache. By '79 he had the six o'clock. Nobody asked questions. Nobody told him. To this day he thinks the eye is a family birthmark.

Chet“Toledo. Born and raised. ...Mostly raised.”

Chet at the desk with a pig on the monitor behind him

Great effects budget

06Never broadcast

Same headline. Different footage.

Remus is Earth's twin, so every story here has a twin story there. Every night after the real broadcast, Management runs a practice show. Chet reads the real headline. They roll the Remus tape.

Chet is sure it's all fake. Puppets, a smoke machine, a very committed intern. None of it ever airs.

Earth headlineSheriff pulls over Amish buggy on suspicion of DUI.

Remus tapeOn suspicion of horsepower.

Earth headlineFarmer says printed meat will sell "when pigs fly."

Remus tapePigs fly over the county fair.

Earth headlineElephant escapes the city zoo.

Remus tapeLocated directly behind the anchor.

Black-and-white security camera view of Chet dancing alone in the empty studio

CAM 2 · 2:04 AM

07After hours

Off the leash at two in the morning.

Chet runs a page of his own. He dances on the security cameras in his socks. He shakes hands with every villain in town like they're city council. The intern posts every one of them. Management is not happy about it.

Chet, photo-op grin“Great meeting with the Councilman. Firm grip. Little scaly. Very generous with the campaign envelope.”

A blurred, classified government file with a baby photo clipped to it

EYES ONLY
PROJECT ALTERA

08Pending release

Some tapes stay in the vault.

Somewhere down the line, the government declassifies a shipping manifest. Ohio warehouse. 1969. One line on it is going to ruin Chet's night.

Follow along and you'll be there when he reads it.

LIVETonight · 6pm Eastern

Tune in. Keep one eye open.

@scatterreportThe station. Every night at 6.

@chetthundermanAmerica's One-Eyed Wonder. After hours.